..As December Ends !

The intrinsic winter,
& the air so condense..


The lost affection,
that had once made sense..


An obscure strangeness,
that felt like an offense..


It reminds me of something,
just as December ends.. !!

foot-prints !!

It was beautiful,

the unusual glare..

the silent drizzle,

& the  fragrant air..

the same old hill,

that looked unfair..

The same old hill,

and our foot-prints there !!

Analysis of Financial 'state'ments !

It was 9am. With a deep glance at the some-what ugly window pane next to me, I was contemplating, not sure what. Adjusting my spectacles that got slightly tilted in the process over the bridge of my nose I looked back to the table that looked wonderfully embellished by the financial management textbooks and hand outs. On the other side of the table was a guy who looked impatient and annoyed with his life, the reason was that he was attempting his 2nd semester MMS exams along with CFA level-II. There were some souls around who were seamlessly dozing off and on, as if they had taken an oath to live and die on the very study table. There were peons and other library staff members who looked engrossed in their own worlds, with female ones gossiping over their relative's newly bought vehicle and the males- yawning, drinking water, walking in and out, going back to their respective seats and yawning again !

       Amidst all of them, was I. Foolishly contemplating, sometimes turning the fan on, then turning it off again, playing Need For Speed and clicking some random pictures. Suddenly there was an enthralling moment where life felt full of energy and a high intensity volatile interest popped up of understanding the concepts of finance. I picked up the pen and began with a question on Ratios. Life initially in all aspects is easy, and so was the question that I solved with little help of my friend. It felt good. While I moved my eyes onto the next question, the phone vibrated, it was an SMS. And guess what, I didn't bother to check it, whoaa, achievement ! Without getting my mind to ramble, I got along solving the question, with little apprehension and slight hesitation I was just about to finish it and suddenly something happened. Nothing material, it felt as if I am fooling myself. Finance is not my cup of tea, how the heck am I suppose to understand what comes and goes in terms of money in a firm. Who cares if the equity of a company is twice its debt or otherwise. And how on earth am I suppose to remember all those damn formulae of what-not-ratios. Bloody, ratio had such a simple meaning before and that was the arithmetic division of two values, numerator to denominator. Finance complicated it, and complicated my life too. It was 12 'o' clock, 3 hrs done and I was on the 2nd question. The pen in my hand was raring to go, but it wasn't sure where. The problem was that finance had made life difficult. Assets, liability, debt, reserves, P&L, balance sheet and in the end a messed up neurotic disordered brain. I finished solving the problem, looked at the next one, then looked at the same tarnished window pane, and finally I was back, contemplating !

..those moments !

Searching the lost way,

moving across the spheres..

I miss those moments,

more intensely than it appears..

Those days when you cared,

despite all the fears.. 

The times when we cried together,

and still laughed with tears.. !!

..wish you were here !

Remembering the good ol' days,

and the times we were near..

Leaving behind the sorrows,

and smiling on the fear..

I moved across the library,

and saw our past re-appear..

I sat down for a while,

and wished you were here.. !!

..The 8'o clock lecture !

After several attempts of pressing the snooze button of my cell phone which showed that it had been 5 minutes 'again' already since I pressed it the last time, I finally use to wake up. Rushing through the early morning chores, forcing my foot into the canvas shoes, hurriedly picking up the 3.5kg laptop contained bag I use to rush down the street towards the railway station and my phone use to beep in a manner that sounded different, rather euphonious. Like every beautiful morning, it use to be her message which read," Whr u". I still don't know if she used to be that lazy to type the whole "Where are you"  or she liked being terse in mornings. I never asked, and now I don't think it matters anymore. " I am late, lemme kno wen the lect starts" I use to reply. With twenty mins to go, I used to be at Bandra railway station, late again and again and again, for the 8'o clock lecture.

It was the time when everything used to be glorious. There used to be that fragrance in that morning freshness, and the charm in the air that used to tell me that someones there in that lecture who is waiting for me to arrive. And it felt good that I had a reason to reach early, though I am habitual getting late. It gave me a sense of feeling that cannot be expressed in words that I don't need to note down everything that is taught in the class, and I can afford to miss a concept that the professor is throwing at us and sneak a doze, and that was because I knew that she was there sitting next to me, that even if I miss, she'll hit. There used to be that tacit assurance that "You won't get drowned, I am your life jacket" I loved fooling around when she used to be by my side. The trust that I had in her, though unsaid, I felt it was rock solid. But mere trust in the person isn't enough, there is more than one dimension to everything that exists, and destiny is something that works on a no-dimension basis.

         Today the time has changed. Everything is different. There is no more fragrance in the morning freshness, and the air has no charm to offer. The cell phone is having a wonderful sleep in the morning without bothering to beep euphoniously and there is absolutely no one who awaits my presence in the lecture room. 

One thing hasn't changed, and would never change, and that is 
..the 8'o clock lecture !